Humility

I have been humbled – in the beautiful and profound sense – by the wisdom of my fellow Aussie Guybrush57.

She left a comment that has totally blown me away. I’ll paste it in below to make it easier to refer to:

Sometimes, in dealings with men, I feel they know not what they do. Women generally look within themselves more and think, brood, invent scenaria … if left with too much time on their hands. Men would be surprised – maybe shocked – if they knew our thoughts on their offhand behaviour. I think we are better at playing games (therefore imagining men are playing them too), when probably men are just being men – busy with their work, play, etc., and compartmentalising their relationships into little boxes to be opened when they can spare the time. This is not to say men are not deep – but I do feel they operate on a different emotional bandwidth. Maybe P thinks it’s you who are not willing to commit? Sometimes we protest too much. You are travelling such an exciting journey, Zen … the possibilities are exquisite.

I just suddenly felt light and free after reading this. Like a load had been lifted from my mind. And I suddenly realised that the issue was all about ME, not about how anyone else was behaving. I think I’ve been blowing things out of all proportion.

P leads a very busy life. He has a very active social life where he is out many evening and weekends. He is also very dedicated and committed to his work and takes his job seriously. One of the things I really like about him is that he is so passionate about what he does. His grown children also have recently moved back in with him so he has an active family life too. He gets on so well with his kids and they enjoy spending time together.

He is getting on with his usual routine and his usual life. He would probably be horrified to know of all the thoughts that float around in my head based on how I perceive his behaviour.

Guybrush57’s timing was also impeccable as I’d remembered this morning that I have been trying so hard to learn to let go, go with the flow and surrender to life. I have been working to maintain an even balance emotionally and psychologically. Now, I have a test, a hurdle to overcome and have been stumbling around a fair bit. The universe looks down and says, “ok you say you are going to go with the flow – lets see if you can do that”, and throws a situation in your path that you cannot control. I must let go of this need to be in control. It is based on insecurity.

Let me learn to take each day as it comes. Let me learn to take each opportunity as it arises. Let me learn to accept things I cannot change. Let me learn to not judge another’s behaviour based on my own perceptions. Let me learn to love. Let me learn to be patient. Let me learn to let go and surrender to whatever will be.

I have been very judgemental in the last few days. Methinks I doth protest too much. Now I have been shown humility by the wisdom of others. I get so much from each and every person who comments here. I’m not sure how I survived before I joined this cyber-community. I am very grateful.

Namaste