Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you see life as primarily safe or unsafe? Are you a survivor or a victim?
I had an odd experience yesterday. I was in a coffee shop with a friend. The seat I was in was exposed and I had a sudden thought in my head that if the place were to be flooded or a firestorm come through I would be right in the firing line. (I don’t normally think these things).
As instantaneously as that thought arose, another also materialised and it said to me, “it’s ok – you’d be alright. Even if such a thing were to happen you’d survive and be ok”.
That got me thinking. My instinctive reaction to life is that I am a survivor. Does everyone have the same reaction? I asked my friend, O, what her response would be. Her answer? “Oh I’d know for sure that I’d die or be badly injured”. We talked about it for a while. Her thought was that my reaction wasn’t particularly healthy because it meant I might take uncalculated risks because “nothing could ever happen to me”. But I don’t believe I am like that. I am not scared to take calculated risks – such as trekking in winter in the Himalayas with experienced guides and the right equipment. But I wouldn’t do any such thing without guides or equipment. I believe I’ll be safe and put my trust in those whose responsibility it is to monitor and ensure my safety.
I happen to think my reaction is quite healthy. I don’t think O’s response is however. It is an interesting point to debate. I have no wish to go through life fearful of things happening to me. I used to walk my dog late at night in a rough area. Not once was I scared (see I had a big dog to protect me!) and I used to meet gangs of tattooed, beer swilling guys occasionally. I’d just say g’day to them and they’d say the same to me. Nobody ever hassled me. Now I wouldn’t have been so blase about doing that without my dog with me. But nonetheless – if I found myself in that circumstance for whatever reason – I would still expect to be safe – but I’d be on my guard.
I’ll go quadbiking (which causes quite a few deaths and disabilities) without batting an eyelid (but I will wear a helmet). I’ll travel alone in India without a second thought – but I am wary. When you are a woman on your own you can either stay home and never budge out of fear (and being home is no guarantee of safety either) or you can be smart and sensible and go out and do what you want to do.
I feel great gratitude to my parents for giving me a safe environment to grow up in. Its impact on my life is something I hadn’t really pondered until now. O has always thought she could potentially end up the victim of a serial killer or a murderer. I just assume that sort of thing will never happen to me. Isn’t that what most people think? That will never happen to me?
What is your instinctive reaction to a disaster scenario? Would you be a victim or a survivor?
I instinctively pick the seat that would be hit the least – the planning survivor…
What does that say?
But I agree with the debate between Conan Doyle’s characters where they come to the conclusion that to even be awake constitutes a risk of knowing the world around you has changed and that the only thing to do is to wake up in the morning and get on with it…. But don’t ask me in which tale that is in.
Free, smart! picking the safest seat instinctively. Yeah being alive is a risk and we just have to accept that and be smart about things.
[...] anyway, u-philosophy is very, very closely related to what Zenuria called “Life Outlook” the other day. And, like her, i think this is very important, because regardless of whether [...]